We can all use reminders and instructions on how to be a friend. In fact how to be in relationships period. Where did we learn about relationship? Where and from whom did you learn?
Free tip sheet-3 strategies to use now-available here: https://lindagall.org/
Sadly a lot of our learning has been trial and error. When we learn by what didn't work it’s a really expensive way to learn. We hurt others, we get hurt and we lose valuable relationships.
We also tend to become more protective of ourselves when we have been hurt by others. It becomes harder to let people in, to risk closeness. And that not only hurts us but it deprives others of the value we can add to their lives.
Resilience means the ability to recover from set backs and adapt to change. Our perspective is a key factor to being resilient.
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When keep a commitment we made to ourselves we are teaching our brain that we can trust ourselves to follow through. We think of ourselves as a trustworthy person, we respect ourselves, we feel good. It builds our confidence in who we are as a person. As we continue to do this in different ways that positive sense of self grows.
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Studies on the neurobiology of giving have been conducted. It turns out that when we practice generosity our brain rewards us with happy endorphins. which have many benefits to our mental, emotional and physical health.
“Giving can stimulate our brain’s mesolimbic pathway, or reward center boosting self-esteem, elevating happiness and combating feelings of depression.”
Is this a difficult season for you? Do you avoid conversations about Thanksgiving and Christmas plans and other holidays?
There is anticipation it seems everywhere, food, travel, family, loving gatherings with laughter and excitement from people who know they have a seat at the table. They are wanted and welcome.
But what if that isn’t you? Maybe you are separated from family by either geographical or emotional distance. Friends are gathering with family and you are on your own. It can be a time when loneliness is magnified by the gatherings of others. By the memories and expectations of the Holidays. Many are going through this.
We may not be able to change our circumstances but we can change our perspective and change the way we experience the circumstance.
Some thoughts that I hope will offer some help:
• Sadley, a good number of families gathering for the Holidays are gathering out of obligation. They dread being together. Celebrate your freedom to spend the Holiday as you like, free of obligation.
• Find a way to give, to be a comfort to someone else
• Seek out other singles to share a meal with
• Plan a special day for yourself-a day on the coast or in the mountains, make it your own non-traditional Holiday full of things you enjoy. Celebrate the goodness of the Holiday in a way that is special to you.
Next year could be very different. Look for the silver lining in the aloneness. Resist the voices that tell you that you are rejected, unwanted and unworthy. Remind yourself of Whose you are.
None of us made ourselves. You are God’s creation and he sees you in your pain. Choosing him means that there is always a seat at his table for you. With your name on it. You are desired and welcomed with open arms.
Find that place of being desired and cherished in his presence. Sit with him and allow his comfort to fall over you, his Spirit of love to fill you and give you peace. It is real and it is yours, it is your creator’s pleasure to give it to you.
Feel free to share this post, we never know who may be experiencing deeper loneliness at this time.
