It was Good Friday afternoon in Southern California. I was 16 and had spent the day at Newport Beach. My parents were having friends for dinner and I was expected to be there.
Things were always a little tense when my parents were entertaining. Like most of us we want to put our best foot forward. We want to look good and we want our guests to be comfortable and cared for. My dad was especially a stickler for things being just right.
So I knew it was in my best interest to make sure I got home on time. My habit was to underestimate the time it would take me for any given deadline.
As I approached the freeway to go home I was shocked and worried to see the freeway jam-packed. Cars were moving at a snails pace. People getting out of town for the Easter weekend. I was never going to make it.
I noticed that the traffic going in the other direction was moving quite nicely so I decided to get on the freeway in that direction, away from my home.
Okay, I hear you saying “Huh?!!” But I had a plan.
I would get off onto a side road and take back roads or find another freeway going in the right direction that wasn’t so crowded. Mind you this was before cell phones with wonderful voices telling you all the possible ways to get from Point A to Point B. And before Thomas guides, I think. I know I didn’t have one. Just my own very faulty sense of direction and a ton of youthful optimism.
So onto the freeway I went. I was breezing along, getting further from home and finding no alternate routes. I was getting more and more nervous as I realized I was not going to make it home on time. (Where was I anyway?) And that if I didn’t find something soon I was destined to sit even longer in that now longer line of traffic I had tried to avoid.
I finally had to get off the freeway and find a pay phone. Remember, no cell phones to call either, or text. So I had to call home and tell them I would be late and why. I was hoping my mom would answer-another down side of landlines, you never knew who would answer-but alas my dad did. To say the least he was not happy. And he wasn’t buying my story about why I was now 40 miles away from home instead of the 10 miles from the beach. (I think he gave me way too much credit for my decision-making abilities). He assured me there would be more “discussion” when I got home.
The long, slow drive home was one of anticipation of the consequences that awaited me.
When I slithered in the door an hour and a half later I was relieved to find the guests had sweetened my dad’s mood and I was able to escape the wrath I feared.
What I learned:
Trying to save time can end up costing more time.
And that going in the opposite direction of where you want to go is seldom a good idea.
I can assure you I have not made the mistake of getting on the freeway going the wrong direction without a clear understanding of what my options were. However I have made this same mistake in judgement many times.
I have often been short-sighted-taking the “quick and easy way” only to have it yield more work and more time in the long run. I would rather jump into a project and figure it out as I go than make a detailed plan.
In my defense (excuse) I am not a natural planner. I don’t have that gene. My sister does, more about that here. I got the unstructured, think outside the box, no time for the mundane planning and filing and organizing gene. Who has time for that? I am busy getting things done. And often spinning my wheels. The hamster on the wheel that can’t see that she is going nowhere fast. But busy means important, right?
I can jump on an idea quickly and set out to implement it before thinking it through. I’m a doer not a planner. Hah! Just get on the freeway with the least traffic and hope for the best. Stopping to calculate the possible outcomes just wastes time. Hmmm
Add another project to my week-sure. Stop what I am working on to jump to something else more interesting-sure. “Somehow” I will get it all done.
Putting things off by being “too busy” and ending up spending more time. Case in point-I don’t like filing paperwork. I have more “urgent” and “important” things to do. Until I need to locate an important document asap. What would have taken me less than a minute to file now can take me an hour to sort through the piles of “someday”.
Accepting a job, a project before thinking of the long-range implications. Will this get me closer to what I really want or delay my getting it? An opportunity or a detour?
What example would you add? We all have them.
That Good Friday I I wasted precious time, gas, and peace of mind by thinking I could find a shortcut without properly thinking it through. As time went on and I made more mistakes and suffered the consequences I lost confidence in my ability to make decisions. I lost some of my natural fun-loving spontaneity. Life got too serious when I was afraid of making mistakes.
Where is the balance? Whether we are naturally organized and a planner or naturally spontaneous and unstructured we need to be aware of the pitfalls of overdoing our natural tendencies.
For me the challenge is creating and keeping some structure in my life-a loose schedule that is flexible to a point, while maintaining the non-negotiables. By creating and keeping good habits-that dreaded D word-Discipline. It’s worth the effort.
I need to make sure I take time to consider a new idea or direction. Count the cost and the benefit. What looks great at the beginning (new and shiny) may cost more than I am willing to give.
Resist the temptation to get bogged down in a decision. Realize every decision is a risk. After due diligence and prayer, if I decide to proceed, determine if I will cautiously move forward or full on. Is there a pivot plan and an exit strategy? This is a good deterrent to impulsive decision-making. It’s also needed reassurance when my best laid plans don’t work out.
For the planner the overdoing shows up in being too rigid and slow to change. The balance comes in keeping the door open to some spontaneity. Being able to leave the flexible items on your to-do list aside for an unplanned trip to the beach or a visit with a friend. Being open to those promptings from God to do something outside of your comfort zone
Building margin into your schedule for opportunities for fun or helping someone out
Being willing to consider new ideas
One of the biggest responsibilities we possess is how we will use our time. It is the one resource that is non-renewable. There will always be unexpected drains on it. If we work to maintain a balance of structure, good habits and flexibility we will gain more confidence, be more resilient, and more fun.
“Doing things right is efficiency
Doing the right things is effective”
If you liked this post please leave me a comment. What is your time-waster?
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